


I always knew

by fiveainley_ohmy



Series: Free To Be Dean and Cas [6]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Domestic Fluff, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, Human Castiel in the Men of Letters Bunker (Supernatural), M/M, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-13 03:33:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29271804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fiveainley_ohmy/pseuds/fiveainley_ohmy
Summary: Dean hasn't always been as secretive about his feelings as he thought.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Series: Free To Be Dean and Cas [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2019076
Comments: 1
Kudos: 56





	I always knew

“Love you, man. I love you so much.”

_ I love you _ is still a foreign phrase on Dean’s tongue. He’s still plagued with the instinct to hold it in, let his love show in other ways, but Cas deserves to hear it, dammit. If three little words were the least Dean could do for his ex-angel, he would do it.  Besides, it was so worth it to see that smile on Cas’s face when he said it, when his blue eyes seemed to glow with happiness.

At the moment, Dean couldn’t see those eyes, however, because Cas’s face was currently buried in the cradle of Dean’s neck. His arms were wrapped securely around Dean’s torso and their legs were tangled together. To compensate, Cas hummed contentedly into Dean’s skin, rubbing his nose against his shoulder.

Cas was so damn cute, it was almost sickening.

Dean chuckled, softly ruffling the ex-angel’s hair.

Then Cas shifted so he could prop his head on his hand to look at Dean. “I feel like I should tell you something,” he said. “Do you promise you won’t get mad?”

“Of course not,” Dean said, shifting to face him. “What’s up?”

Cas bit his lip. “I sort of...knew how you felt about me. Before you told me.”

Dean blinked. “Wait...you’re kidding.”

Cas shook his head.

“But I was so careful not to let it show!”

“It wasn’t anything you did...though in retrospect, you weren’t that subtle,” Cas laughed gently. “But what I mean is...I could feel it. Your love for me.”

“What do you mean? Don’t tell me you were able to read minds that whole time.”

“No, but...when you pray to me, you usually speak out loud, correct?”

“Yeah...”

“Well, I certainly hear you when you pray to me that way. But prayer isn’t always an...active thing. When someone is thinking of me, even when they don’t mean to...I can feel them, like a small bell ringing in my mind. I can feel their longing.”

Dean turned white as a sheet. “Oh. Oh no.”

Cas smiled. “You used to miss me quite a bit.”

“Yeah...yeah, I did.” Dean laughed shyly. “Man, it’s a good thing you weren’t tuned in when you were human and I, uh, asked you to leave the Bunker, because I missed you  _ so _ much then. I wanted you there, all the time, but stupid ass Gadreel...”

Cas nodded, understandingly. He covered the faint outline of his old handprint on Dean’s shoulder with his hand, touching the mark lovingly. “Our bond was so strong, I could always hear you, no matter the circumstances. Even when I was Emmanuel and had no memory of you...I felt you thinking of me quite often. I felt your pain, your anger towards me...but I also felt your grief over losing me. It made me want to comfort you, but I had no idea who you were or if you even existed. It made me quite sad. Daphne worried about me a lot. And after your mother died, when we...separated...I could still feel that you missed me. You wanted me to come back, but you weren’t ready to forgive me yet, so I stayed away.”

Something suddenly struck Dean. “What about when I was...you know. A demon?”

“Well that complicated things a bit. Your soul wasn’t...gone, per se. But it’s like it was locked inside a concrete box. I couldn’t feel you. I hated it. The same goes for when you were possessed by Michael. There were...flashes of you, occasionally, brief but strong. You wanted to be saved. You were scared. You were in pain.”

“I’m sorry, man, I had no idea...” 

“No, it’s alright. Feeling you...gave me comfort. It let me know you were alive, and still fighting.” Cas touched his cheek, drawing his thumb lightly over his cheekbone.

Dean laughed nervously. “Bet it got annoying over the years though, me ringing your bell every few days.”

“It was a  _ touch _ more frequent than ‘every few days.’” Cas teased him with a mischievous grin. “Actually, I was quite flattered that you thought about me so much. I will admit, in the beginning I didn’t know what those feelings were...but eventually I figured it out.” Cas smiled, taking Dean’s hand. “You loved me.”

“Why didn’t you ever say anything?”

Cas shrugged. “There was never a good time. You weren’t ready to accept your feelings. I was afraid to admit mine. Take your pick.”

“God, we are such fuckin’ idiots,” Dean sighed, looking up at the ceiling.

Cas chuckled, kissing Dean’s knuckles. “We’re together now. That’s all that matters. Now...we’re free.”

“Yeah...” Dean was quiet for a moment. “Hey, wait. So when you say you could feel it when I was thinking about you...”

A slow smile grew on Cas’s face. “Yes?” he drawled.

Dean turned bright red. “Oh god...so every time I was...?”

“Oh yes. I felt that too.  _ Intensely.” _

“Oh no...”

“Every fantasy...”

_ “Oh no...” _

“Every time you gasped my name...”

_ “Stop it,” _ Dean groaned, hiding his face in his hands.

Cas leaned close to his ear and purred, “Every time you came to the thought of being with me.”

Dean let out a noise that sounded like a sob as Cas chuckled and laid his head on Dean’s shoulder.

“You can ring my bell anytime, Dean Winchester,” his lover whispered. “I may not be an angel anymore, but I’ll always come when you call.”


End file.
